Living by Your Values: Men's Therapy Lakeland

Living by your values means acting in ways that reflect what truly matters to you. For many men, finding and staying true to these values can be challenging, especially when faced with stress and uncertainty. However, it is possible to manage these feelings and align your actions with your values.

Understanding personal values is the first step toward leading a fulfilling life. A value as seen in ACT, is a desired quality of behavior. A value helps you determine what is important, to act like the sort of person you want to be. Living according to your values can be acting in ways that are caring, compassionate, present with family, coworkers or friends. 

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) provides a framework for identifying and living by your values. ACT focuses on accepting your thoughts and feelings and committing to actions that align with your values. This approach helps you manage stress and uncertainty and leads to a more meaningful life. In this article, we will explore how ACT aligns with your values and provide practical steps to help you live according to them.

Understanding Values

According to ACT, values are the personal qualities we want to embody in our actions. They are the manner in which we want to treat ourselves, others, and the world around us. For men, understanding values can be challenging but it can be beneficial to figuring out what matters to them.

Values can vary widely from person to person. Some common values include a desire to behave in ways that are Accepting, Assertive, Committed, or caring. One may adhere to different values in different life domains such as Work/Education, Relationship, Play, Health. Identifying these values involves introspection and self-awareness. Ask yourself what matters most in your life and why. Consider what you want to prioritize and what makes you feel satisfied and whole. When our actions are not aligned with our values, we may feel unsettled or unfulfilled.

Taking time to reflect on your values can provide clarity and direction. Writing down your values or discussing them with a trusted friend or therapist can help you understand them better. Knowing your values, can help in making decisions that align with them, leading to a more consistent and flexible life.

How Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) Aligns with Your Values

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) is an effective approach to help men live by their values. ACT focuses on accepting your thoughts and feelings and committing to actions that align with your values. This approach can help you manage anxiety, stress, and other challenges that come with living a value-based life.

The first core principle of ACT is acceptance. This means acknowledging your thoughts and emotions without trying to change them. By accepting these internal experiences, you can free yourself from the struggle against them and focus more on what is truly important. Acceptance helps you stay present, making it easier to act in line with your values.

The second principle is cognitive defusion. This technique involves distancing yourself from your thoughts and seeing them for what they are—just thoughts. For example, rather than getting entangled in the thought, "I must achieve this goal," you can observe it with curiosity and ask yourself whether this thought aligns with your values.  This shift can help reduce the power of negative or unhelpful thoughts.

The third principle is committed action. This involves identifying values and making a commitment to act in ways that reflect these values. Whether it's spending more time with family, focusing on personal growth, or pursuing a meaningful career, committed action helps you live a value-based life. This mindful approach can help you relate to your thoughts in a way that lessens their grip on your actions, allowing you to act more consistently with what truly matters to you.

Clarifying Values and Making Life Changes: A Guide Inspired by Dr. Russ Harris

Aligning your actions with your values can lead to meaningful and lasting life changes. Inspired by the work of Dr. Russ Harris, here’s a step-by-step process to help you clarify your values and make impactful changes.

Step 1: Imagine a World of Unlimited Confidence
Dr. Russ Harris encourages you to start by imagining yourself in a world where you have unlimited confidence (or substitute "confidence" with "happiness," "self-esteem," etc., depending on your focus). Consider the following questions:

  • How would you behave differently?

  • How would you walk, talk, and perform?

  • How would you treat others and yourself?

  • How would you care for your body and mind?

  • What goals would you set?

  • How would you make a difference in the world?

Step 2: Reflect on Your Answers
Write down your answers to these questions. If you notice overlap in your responses, it highlights your core values, a key concept emphasized by Dr. Harris.

Step 3: Create Your Life Change List
Drawing from Dr. Harris’s approach, make a list of how you will integrate these values into your life:

  • Actions: How will you act differently?

  • Treatment of Others: How will you treat friends, family, and colleagues?

  • Self-Care: How will you treat yourself?

  • Character Strengths: What qualities will you develop and demonstrate?

  • Relationships: How will you behave differently in personal and professional relationships?

  • Standards: What important things will you stand for?

  • Activities: What activities will you start or do more of?

Step 4: Implement and Adjust
Begin applying these changes in your daily life. Dr. Harris recommends regularly revisiting your list and making adjustments as needed to stay aligned with your values.

5. Seek Support: Sometimes, it is challenging to work through this alone. A therapist trained in ACT can provide guidance and support, helping you stay committed to your values.

Following these steps can help ensure that your actions reflect your values, leading to a more fulfilling and authentic life.

Benefits of Value-Based Living for Men in Lakeland

Living a life guided by values offers numerous benefits, especially for men in Lakeland facing various stresses and challenges. Here are some of the primary advantages:

1. Increased Fulfillment: When you live by your values, you are more likely to feel satisfied and content. Your actions align with what truly matters to you, leading to a more meaningful life.

2. Better Decision-Making: Values act as a compass, guiding you in making decisions that are consistent with what is important to you. This can reduce indecision and provide clarity in complex situations.

3. Improved Relationships: Value-based living enhances your interactions with others. Being true to your values nurtures authentic and honest relationships, whether with family, friends, or colleagues.

4. Stress Management: Accepting and living according to your values can help manage stress and anxiety. Knowing that you are acting in line with what matters to you helps you cope with life and have a sense of purpose in the midst of uncertainty. 

By living according to your values, you create a life that feels more purposeful and aligned with who you are. This approach allows you to handle life's challenges more effectively.

Conclusion

Living by your values can transform your life in meaningful ways. Understanding what your values are and using approaches like Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) can help you in aligning your actions with your values.

Value-based living offers numerous benefits, particularly for men in Lakeland.  ACT provides a framework to manage and accept your thoughts and feelings, focusing on actions that truly matter to you. This approach can lead to a more balanced and purpose-driven life.

At A Mindful Process Therapy, PLLC, we specialize in helping men navigate the challenges of living by their values. If you are ready to start this journey, contact A Mindful Process Therapy, PLLC, today to find out how our expert anxiety therapists in Lakeland can support you in living a life guided by your values.

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